And they lived happily ever after?

"You don't speak your mind!" My business coach looks at me intently.

I sigh. He’s right. I don’t say it because I know that if I speak my mind in this group session, someone will not be happy. A person who is so damaged that they will not be able to accept my expression of boundaries.

I feel torn. Because I know that staying silent keeps me trapped in an old programming.

Just say nothing. Keep quiet. Let it go. Swallow, take a deep breath, and move on. Let it slide off you. It’s deeply ingrained in my family history.

But where does that leave me? Aren't my boundaries worth respecting? Isn't it time to show myself and speak up?

We all encounter this when breaking through blockages. They’re there for a reason. Where do you draw the line between respecting yourself and someone else?

Encouraged by my coach, I decided to take the leap and shared what was bothering me. Very carefully. 

What a relief.  It was received gracefully. 

I thought. I was told. I received compliments on how I handled it. I was relieved and happy. Hooray! It’s not scary to speak your truth.

Until some time later, in the next group session, I realized that it wasn’t received well at all. I even endured a nasty energetic attack. What did I do wrong? I had gained nothing from it!

How can that be? Is it worth breaking patterns? Why didn’t the situation improve?

Archangel Michael says:

“When breaking patterns, an imbalance always arises first. The blockage or distortion of energy has, in a way, created its own balance. No matter how unhealthy, it is a balance. When you unblock the energy, you disrupt the status quo, the ingrained pattern.

It’s an illusion to think that breaking a pattern will immediately feel good. First, there is the uncomfortable experience of a new situation. You may act from a new frequency, but your environment has grown with you in the pattern and will often find it unpleasant and may even start blaming you.

Always feel inside what is needed. It’s never good to stay stuck in an old pattern out of fear of what it will do to someone else. Ultimately, it’s not fair to the other person; you keep them trapped in an unhealthy situation.

Where it often goes wrong is the act of breaking the pattern. Because it requires strength, the change usually comes with a wave of intense energy. The question is not whether you should break the unhealthy pattern, but whether you should break the unhealthy pattern at THIS MOMENT.

But dear Lightworker, don’t worry. Even if you choose the “wrong” moment to break a pattern, it will always be for the greater good. If it hurts people, it means they are also trapped in a pattern, and the pain will point this out to them.

Don’t keep postponing it, because as a result  it will only become more ingrained. Once you finally find the courage to let go, go for it.

The problem is that you often expect a “reward” when you have broken a pattern. As if there should immediately be a “and they lived happily ever after” moment. That’s not the case. It means that the healing process can begin. And sometimes it will be accompanied by even more mess that can finally become visible so that it can be cleaned up.

Let go of the expectation of a reward. You are not here just to feel blissful. Negative emotions are also part of the human experience. As difficult as it is to grasp, sometimes the unpleasant feelings are your reward. Because it’s part of being human and having a body. Because those emotions form a portal to joy.

Embrace what is. Whether you experience it as positive or negative. Let go of the judgment about it. That’s how you truly live happily ever after.”